Dealing with Porn & Sexting

sexing, pornography, porn, kids
Of course, I'll never share the photo, it's just for me. 

Dealing with Porn & Sexting

Talking Pornography. 

The reality is your child will come across pornography on the internet. It's just there. Even if you don’t go looking for it, it finds you. Google don' bother hiding it anymore. Kids are seeing Adult content (porn) younger and younger these days. Parental controls, filters will reduce the chances of your child stumbling across porn however teens usually find a way to bypass these protections.

Young Children & Porn 

Children can be confused by porn exposure. When they encounter it they may want to watch more of it out of curiosity or to learn something from it. Oftentimes they simply won't understand it. It can be traumatic and can make them anxious. If you can talk about the content with them. 

Use mistakes to improve and build better habits.

The internet is a learned habit, so let's take a positive approach to mistakes or even deliberate missteps, a chance to learn from mistakes building better habits for the future. Explain there are some things for adults only, that if they ever see anything on the internet that bothers them, they should tell you. Tell younger kids that if they ever see pictures of a naked person, they ought to tell you. 

Talk to your child about how to react if they see porn or any online content they are not comfortable with. For example; Turning off the screen. Closing the laptop. Turning over the tablet or phone. Parental control apps are very good at blocking inappropriate content.
 

Mistakes happen, pictures get taken, make sure to learn from it. The Police are very helpful.

 

What do our Internet Safety Talks entail?

Our internet safety talks for teens are age appropriate - we speak to:

Sexting is ​the new flirting 

In a very expensive Swiss school, heard this simple explanation from a German teenager who really meant it, said it was just how it is. 

Teenagers & Porn 

Learning about sex is part of growing up. If children do not feel they can ask questions at home or school, they might go looking for answers online. 

The conversation with teens has to be that pornography is not real simply fantasy. Children and teens can have difficulty understanding this. Without your intervention, there is a chance that porn can become their model for physical intimacy. A blueprint for relationships in general. 

You need to talk with your child to counter the effects of watching porn. Talk to them about what physical intimacy is in the context of a loving and respecting relationship. Try to explain, that what's represented on porn sites is not a reflection of real-life relationships.

Our e-Book. How to to protect your kids online!

The #1 Selling EBook in our store

A Parents’ Guide to a Better internet 

Help the kids understand that they need to be critical of the things they come across developing healthy attitudes and relationships. At this point, it is all about trust, remember it is about guidance, not instructions.

It is a great time to talk about consent, trust and respect. Porn gives very misleading messages on the need for consent in intimate relationships. Child experts all agree that messaging from adult content (porn) is that teenagers are confused or misinformed about the importance of this issue. 

Talking about porn with to teenagers may lead to questions about sex and relationships. It’s ok to say, “I’ll have a think about that and talk to you about this later”. It’s a good idea to talk about this topic over a while and not try to cover off everything in one go. 

Talking to your Child about Sexting 

For many parents of teens, sexting, the sharing of intimate images, can be a big concern. Talking to your child can be the best way to ease concerns and ensure your child is informed on the risks of sharing intimate images. 

Facebook say it's friends that share images

Facebook has done a lot of research around this. Facebook make it very clear, they say that it is usually a close friend or a current or former partner who share naked images. Sometimes in error usually in anger, 'revenge porn'. All of this is illegal and considered a serious offence by the Police. Facebook boss Zuckerberg, has been very clear on this, kids need to know wo things, its friends not enemies or hackers that share photographs. He also says that people with 1000s followers hat they don't know, get bullied. The difference between friends and followers.

Posting to pornsites is another serious issue that teenagers and parents need to deal with.  This is a police matter.

It is important to note that sexting is not a normal part of teenage life. It is an activity in which the majority of teenagers do not participate. It also must be said that sexting doesn’t necessarily lead to harm. However, as underage sexting can be illegal it is something that should be dealt with. 

At the same time, there are plenty of cases where sexting has gone wrong and the content shared in confidence has been misused. When this happens there can be serious, negative consequences for the well-being of those involved. . 

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Help, I have just seen my teenager naked on Snapchat

If your teen has several thousand followers she will get bullied-Mark Zuckerburg founder facebook

 

From our Ebook, How to protect your kids online

Snap, Sex, Video, Teenagers, Rule No.1 Delete, Delete, Delete

These very young teenagers (13,14) accidentally filmed themselves having sex which she forgot to delete from her phone. Rule No.1 delete everything.

Two days later, her phone was on the family kitchen table, when her older 17-years-old brother picked up the phone as teenagers do to see if he could get one over on his little sister. Naturally, he wanted to tease her about whatever silly tittle-tattle or gossip he could find. Only he got way more than he bargained for when he saw the sex video. What happened next, he still doesn't understand and says he never will. In a state of shock, which many say is normal, he shared the video, so the whole school, parents and teachers knew within minutes. 

Remember 90% of all illicit materials are shared by friends or family

Like most teenagers he had no privacy switched on. Seconds later he realised what he had done, which is the second his mother came downstairs also in a state of shock, screaming “what the hell have you done” at him?

What ensued, was a disaster for everyone, the school had no plan for dealing with such an incident, and the families fell out over it. The two kids were brutally trolled as a result. They stayed home for weeks which did not help matters. The boy aged 13 was completely unable to deal with it, went into a skyrocketing downturn, costing his mother her job in the process of trying to save him. The sexual appetite of a man, the coping mechanism of a child. Buy e-Book 'How to protect your kids online

He moved to another school outside the area in September, as he couldn't face going back to his old school. Sadly the boys in his old school, couldn't help themselves and sought him out using the Snap maps feature in Snapchat. When they found his new school, using a fake account they sent the video to kids in the new school, tagging it 'Paedo'. Not a helpful start to his new school. The trouble with online bullying is how little courage it takes especially when done anonymously.

She made it back into school two months later in May, with the active support of the school, and recovered her composure enough to make it

through to summer. She stayed off her phone for 2-3 months a discipline that took a lot out of her. Luckily, she had some great friends, as two of her best mates started pushing back on the trollers hard, which was incredibly brave of them. By September, the start of the new year, through her friends hitting back fighting her corner, she was able to go back to school. Sadly, some of the trollers were parents,

Snap Maps is a very controversial feature in Snapchat, which allows snappers to locate friends in a specific location. Uses can select Ghost mode which allows them to see who is around a particular area, like a football match, or an out of town shopping centre. However, they can't see you, as you have selected stealth mode using Ghost mode. Experts say this promotes over-confidence in teenagers and is for a fact a cause of much online bullying.

Snapchat is a 13+ App like most Apps. It allows users to create fake user accounts. Famed first of all for its disappearing messages. 30 seconds after opening a snap (the message), it deletes. Parents, teachers, everyone hates this but Tweens and Teens that use it, love it.

 

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